Big Trunk Blues

(Wesley Wilson's part is in italics.)

[Spoken]
Whew! This the heaviest trunk I ever seen. Lady?
What is it?
Here it is.
Here's what?
That trunk you ordered.
I can see that thing's too big now.
Well, you ordered it.
Bring it in here; I'll try it.

[Coot's part sung:]
Standing in the hallway, my neighbors heard me say,
Standing in the hallway, my neighbors heard me say,
Aw, what did you say?
Quit pushing and squeezing; you can't get it in that way.
Uh-oh, look what this woman done said!

I'm calling the expressman, to tell him that the storeman lied.
Yeah, call him up, he's there!
I'm calling up the expressman, to tell him that the storeman lied.
This trunk won't fit my closet because it's too big and wide.
What kind of trunk is that?

Listen here, Mr. Expressman, don't let your temper rise.
Is that what you call it?
Listen here, Mr. Expressman, don't let your temper rise.
My temper ain't risin', where'd you get that at?
It's nice to look at, but really, baby, it ain't my size.
You knowed that before you ordered it.

Ain't no use to force it, I'll tell you what I mean.
Yeah, let me know. Spit it out, hot mama!
Ain't no use to force it, I'll tell you just what I mean.
Yeah, come on tell, now, I'm listening.
My narrow little doorway's holdin' it halfway inbetween.
Yeah, it is a very small door.

I need it and I like it, but don't make your mama sore.
I ain't tryin' to make you mad. Get it if you want it.
I need it and I like it, but don't make your mama sore.
Yeah.
I would use it in a minute, but send it right back to that store.

Published 9/10/99.

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