Old lady by the name of Miss Lou
Stooped over to button her shoe,
A hard wind came up blowing fast
And it blowed straight up --
Get your mind out the gutter, haw,
Eat your bread and your butter,
haw,
I'm telling you, the wind blew
up the avenue.
Uncle Joe, you ain't foolin' me,
You ain't no infidel, and you never
will be.
Peeped through your keyhole, what
did I see?
Caught you down upon your knee.
Get your mind out the gutter, haw,
Eat your bread and your butter,
haw,
I caught you upstairs on your knees
saying your prayers.
Last night, 'bout half past four,
Heard a funny noise in the room
next door:
"Give it to me, daddy, I want it
so bad,
If you don't give it to me, you'll
make me mad."
Get your mind out the gutter, haw,
Eat your bread and your butter,
haw,
It's the funniest thing, she was
asking for her diamond ring.
Jack and Jill were caught up on
the hill,
Said they went after water.
You should have seen the pose Jill
was in
When I tipped up there and caught
her.
Get your mind out the gutter, haw,
Eat your bread and your butter,
haw,
She had Jack by the hips, doin'
the Blackbottom down to the ground.
Tell the world I'm sitting pat,
I got myself a brand new flat.
My gal done turned out to be a
rat,
She don't care where she gives
it at.
Get your mind out the gutter, haw,
Eat your bread and your butter,
haw,
She's a free-hearted gal, she'll
even give away her hat.
My back's full of muscle, my face
full of frown.
Mama, don't you turn me down.
You may be the best lover in your
town,
If you want me to love you, lay
your new dollar down.
Get your mind out the gutter, haw,
Eat your bread and your butter,
haw,
I'll tell you what I mean, I'm
an artist from the picture screen.
The bullfrog jumped from bank to
bank,
Every time he jumped he hollered
"Nancy Hank,"
He hopped in the dirt, rolled into
the rut,
A wagon came along, run over his
--
Get your mind out the gutter, haw,
Eat your bread and your butter,
haw,
The wheel hit his head and killed
the poor frog dead.
Mary had a little lamb,
His fleece was black as jet,
I took Mary home last Sunday night,
And I ain't quit scratching yet.
Get your mind out the gutter, haw,
Eat your bread and your butter,
haw,
Will you listen, please, the ground
was covered with fleas.
Published 9/10/99.
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