Heptune presents:

Mr. Gallagher and Mr. Shean

    (Ed Gallagher and Al Shean)

Transcribed from vocals by Ed Gallagher and Al Shean, recorded May 6, 1922,
From The Broadway Musical, vol 1: 1918 - 1929, Chansons Actualites; CIN025.

Oh, Mr. Gallagher! Hello? Mr. Gallagher! Mr. Shean.
I wonder why did you come here alone?
Alone!
You must have something on your mind,
To leave your wife so far behind;
She can't even reach you on the telephone!
You're getting personal, Mr. Shean. Why, Mr. Shean,
I came here because she treated me so mean!
Ah-heh!
Was your married life all right?
Mine was fight, fight, fight!
Look at that black eye, Mr. Gallagher!
Look at this one, Mr. Shean!

Oh, Mr. Gallagher! Yes, hello! Mr. Gallagher! Well, well, well!
I'd like to have you meet a widow friend of mine;
I'd like to, hah!
Husband's gone, but she don't care,
This pretty blond with the bobbed up hair,
And a figure, hey, simply super-fine!
So! Yes! Mr. Shean, Mr. Shean,
I'll bet I know the widow that you mean;
A pretty face, a baby stare,
I'm the guy that bobbed her hair;
But she's a grass widow, Mr. Gallagher,
And I'm a lawnmower, Mr. Shean!

Oh, Mr. Gallagher! What do you want? Mr. Gallagher! Yes, yes, yes!
If you're a friend of mine please lend me a couple of bucks!
I'm going home.
I'm so broke, I'm badly bent!
No!
I haven't got a cent!
I'm so clean I think that I've been washed with Lux!
Well, well, Mr. Shean! Why, Mr. Shean!
You don't mean to say you haven't got a bean?
Not a red!
On my word, as I'm alive,
I intended touching you for five;
Merry Christmas, Mr. Gallagher!
Happy New Year, Mr. Shean!

Oh, Mr. Gallagher! Well, well! Mr. Gallagher! Yes, I'm here!
What do you call that game they play upon the links?
With a stick they drive a ball,
To where you can't find it at all,
With a caddy who walks around and thinks and thinks?
Why,  I'm surprised, Mr. Shean! Mr. Shean!
You don't even know a hazard from a green!
It has become a popular game,
And you don't even know its name!
Is it polo, Mr. Gallagher?
No, lawn tennis, Mr. Shean!

Oh, Mr. Gallagher! Yes, hello! Mr. Gallagher! Well, well?
When you stray home, you'll get a great surprise!
I will?
When your ship is drawing near,
It will make you shed a tear,
To see the lights of New York shining in the skies.
You're right, Mr. Shean, Mr. Shean!
I have made that trip, so I know just what you mean!
But there's one light that shines so bright,
It's the brightest light in sight,
Statue of Liberty, Mr. Gallagher?
Coney Island, Mr. Shean!



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Published 12/18/99.


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