
by Brenna E. Lorenz
All contents copyright © 1998 Brenna Lorenz, Megaera
Lorenz, Malachi Pulte. All Rights Reserved.
Reproduction of any part of site without express permission
is strictly prohibited.
Note: This is the original Scoop on Poop. There are several unauthorized, plagiarized versions out there that do not give credit to this page's author, and which are incomplete. Do not be fooled by imitations!
I have consulted
with a doctor, a physiologist and a microbiologist on this question, and
the following summarizes their answers:
Healthy people
can have green poop if they eat a diet rich in leafy green vegetables,
or if they consume large quantities of food coloring (in ice cream, cake
frosting etc.).
Green poop can
also be caused by excess iron in the diet, from dietary supplements, for
example. If the body does not absorb all the iron consumed, the iron may
stain the poop green, the color of iron (II) salts. Ordinarily, the green
color may be masked by the normal brown poop color, but if digestion is
thrown off by illness so that bilirubin is less concentrated in the intestine,
the green color may become apparent. This can happen when a person is afflicted
with diarrhea.
Green poop in
sick babies may come from iron in baby formula not being properly absorbed,
or by green pigments in bile salts (again, green from iron).
Unlike mammals, birds don't urinate. Their kidneys extract nitrogenous wastes from the bloodstream, but instead of excreting it as urea dissolved in urine as we do, they excrete it in the form of uric acid. Uric acid has a very low solubility in water, so it emerges as a white paste. This material, as well as the output of the intestines, emerges from the bird's cloaca. The cloaca is a multi-purpose hole for birds: their wastes come out of it, they have sex by putting their cloacas together, and females lay eggs out of it.
Yes, you can
definitely get sick from eating poop, even in minute quantities! Although
urine emerges sterile from the body (unless the person has an infection),
poop emerges loaded with bacteria and sometimes other life forms. Many
diseases, including food poisoning, cholera and typhus, are spread by fecal
contamination. Many parasites, such as the notorious tapeworm, can be spread
through deliberate or accidental ingestion of poop.
There are some
parasites, such as pinworms, who depend on people eating their own poop
to keep the population up. Pinworms are small nematodes that live in the
colon. The females emerge from the anus at night to lay their eggs. Their
activity makes the anal area itch. The person scratches the itch (often
doing so in his sleep), procuring a small amount of fecal matter and eggs
under his fingernails, and then puts his fingers in his mouth. Once the
eggs are consumed, the person is infected with a new generation of pinworms.
I have read that almost
everyone has pinworms. Luckily, pinworms don't do much harm. You only notice
them if you have a lot of pinworms! If you want to find out if you do indeed
have them, get someone to gently touch around your anal area with Scotch
tape while you are sleeping. The worms will stick to the tape and you'll
be able to see them.
Diarrhea is caused by irritation in the intestines, resulting in the bowel passing its contents too fast for the water to be absorbed. There can be several causes, including infection by bacteria or viruses, irritation caused by unfamiliar foods, food allergies, chronic illnesses such as inflammatory bowel disease, lactose intolerance, medications, and nervousness. If it's a persistant problem, don't mess around - see a doctor.
This isn't really
scientific, but I did a quick survey, and everyone asked (including both
males and females) said that they wipe sitting down. (Marko wrote to
ask, "Am I the only person who wipes standing up? Surely not...") There
was even a reason provided: that sitting down spreads the cheeks apart
and makes access easier. This survey was done on Guam, and Guam is technically
part of the United States, and most people here probably use American toilet
habits. However, if you travel a bit, you will discover that people deal
with left-over poop in different ways in other parts of the world.
In Europe, for
example, that water fountain in the bathroom isn't for drinking. It's a
bidet for hosing off after using the toilet.
In Southeast
Asia, you don't sit on the toilet at all. The toilet is a low, porcelain-lined
trench, and the user squats over it. Next to the toilet is a bin of water.
You scoop water out of the bin with your left hand and use that to cleanse
yourself. You aren't supposed to use your left hand for any other purpose.
Corn poop is
one of the greatest mysteries in life. I grew up pondering the same question.
This is what I think is happening:
When we chew
corn, the outer coating slips off the inner kernal. This outer yellow coating
is almost entirely cellulose, and is indigestible. It passes through the
gut untouched, and emerges looking like a whole kernal, although it is
mostly just the outer skin. The inside of the kernal is starchy and digestible,
and that is the part that we succeed in chewing up.
I know of only one way - don't eat corn!
In humans, soft
poop is really one long, mostly continuous sausage before it comes out.
It gets its "link" look because we tend to pinch off lengths of it with
the anal sphincter as the poop emerges. If a person pinches hard enough,
the poop separates into several turd units. If the person doesn't pinch
that hard, the turds may stay connected.
If you can remain
sufficiently relaxed, you can produce an awesomely long poop that will
coil up inside the toilet.
Floaters are turds that have an unusually high gas content. Sometimes the gases produced by bacteria in our gut don't have a chance to collect into a large fart bubble, but remain dispersed in the feces. The poop then comes out foamy, and has a lower density than water. Poop with a high fat content will also float.
This is generally caused by a recent meal of hot peppers or related spices. The oils associated with these foods remain intact and active all the way through one's gastrointestinal system. These oils can also generate hot farts.
Turds can get very large and dry if a person is constipated, causing painful stretching of the anal opening. Pooping can also hurt if the person has hemorrhoids. Hemorrhoids are engorged veins in the anal area. A doctor once described them to me as "varicose veins of the anus," which suggests that the valves in the veins that are supposed to keep the blood flowing in the right direction have gotten messed up. Pooping can also be painful if the person suffers from an anal fissure, a tear in the tissue of the rectum.
Fizzling can happen if the poop is supercharged with bubbles of fart gas. After discharge from the body, the poop is in a lower pressure environment and it degasses.
Yes, meat protein is rich in sulfides, resulting in smellier farts and poop. This is the reason that the poop of carnivores such as dogs, cats and snakes smells worse than the poop of herbivores such as cows and horses.
Not normally; fortunately the plumbing of the genitalia is entirely separate from the plumbing of the digestive system! However, there are certain pathological situations that can cause the pipes to get connected together wrong. Cancer can do it, as can surgical diversions of the human tubing. Such fistulas, as they are called, can cause feces to come out of the urinary system, or urine to come out of the anus.
This sounds like urban legend to me. It would take a heck of a lot of hydrogen to explode a toilet in this manner, and intestinal gases just don't have that much. Also, any flame would just flare up briefly. With an open toilet, you couldn't get up enough pressure to pop the pot!
Well... it all
started many years ago when I was a graduate student in Buffalo, New York,
and my roommate and I started writing down all the synonyms we could think
of for poop, farts, and other bodily products, functions and parts. We
called our collection "The Nether Thesaurus" and we went around showing
it to people and collecting more words. This is a continuation of the poop
part of that.
Then some linguists
saw The Nether Thesaurus and said it was a valuable resource for linguistic
analysis. Now, I'm not a linguist except as an amateur, so if any of you
are linguistics professionals, feel free to analyze these lists! Just let
me know what you discover.
Then I started
collecting those fun rhymes that kids make up on the playground, and called
the collection "Kiddie Scats." The relevant part of that collection is
included here, too.
As for the questions,
people have a lot of natural curiosity about bodily functions.
And then there's
the undeniable fact that poop is funny! It smells funny, it sounds funny
coming out, and it's dirty, private, and stinky, which makes it even funnier.
And I guess
that's why I made a website about poop!
According to Eric Partridge in his excellent book of word origins (Origins: A Short Etymological Dictionary of Modern English), "poop" comes from the Middle English word poupen or popen, and it originally meant "fart." The word was based on the sound of a fart. According to Robert Chapman, author of American Slang, "poop" came into use with its current meaning around 1900.
Yes, that is
one of the English language's more peculiar expressions. My hypothesis
is that the experience of pooping is so pleasant that although we are leaving
a dump, we are gaining pleasure and satisfaction. Perhaps it developed
as an analog to "taking a break," during which time one also "takes a dump."
And here is
the real explanation from an anonymous linguistics professor: "I can tell
you that the reason we say 'take a shit/dump' is for the same reason we
'take' a vacation...in this situation, the nouns poop/dump or shit are
used to describe an activity occuring over a time, not the actual physical
object itself. One is 'taking' the time to leave a shit in a bowl. actually
the use of the word dump really reflects how much we subconsciously understand
this action, as one's ass is dumping the ass apples into the bowl. the
word has simply been changed to a noun to denote the time spent during
evactuation of the bowels."

Return to Facts
on Farts.
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Published 11/6/99.
Updated 3/14/02.
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